Shutting the Door on Negativity

I started out today reading an article in the Cleveland Plain Dealer entitled Parental Involvement in Education Leads to Successful Students, Stronger Schools.  My first reaction was, " I could have told you that."

As I read the article though, I learned of some neat things going on in Cleveland to build a strong relationship between schools and parents.  I finished the article with different thoughts in my head about how I could better myself as an educator when it came to building relationships with parents.  It was a positive article that caused a truthful look at myself in a positive manner.

Then the positive bubble I was in burst as I started to read the comments left online:

One reader wrote:

Now I have to ask, do low income parents really need a "school" on how to raise a child? Clothe that child, feed that child, get them to school, help them with homework, express an INTEREST in their lives?? they need a University to teach them that? I guess they do. Isn't that sad? And that is the demographic we are being asked to pour more money into. I totally understand this article and this Academy and how they are helping the parents and the children. but I find it really sad, that in 2012, black parents STILL need to be show How To Be Parents. Come on !!!! In the 60's and 70's, did they not finally win their battle for the rights and responsibilities that all Americans are entitled to? And 30-40 years later, they STILL have to be "taught" how to be a parent ?? It just boggles my mind. Really.  
Along with all those Rights they struggled for, did they also not learn that paying taxes is also a "Right", or rather a responsibility of all Americans? But yet, they still pay very very little taxes. And they want top of the line, stellar schools for their children to attend. 
Maybe at Parent University they should also teach them how to be American Citizens as well, not just welfare citizens. 
Sorry. Still makes me angry I guess. Not many people I know who own property, have $500-$600 a year, extra, lying around to pay for CEO and Linkage Coordinator salaries. But those people are laughing and high-fivin all the way to the Bank. How much help with the actual 'kids', i.e. STUDENTS actually receive from all this extra cash? Nada. 
Just so disgusted. 

Another wrote:

Already laying the groundwork for a cover story when the recently passed CMSD levy fails to produce any improvement in results.  


They need a scapegoat that will not result in unionized teachers and administration from being measured and held accountable. Furthermore, they need an excuse that will work when the recently passed levy expires and is put on the ballot to be sold as (not a new tax). 

See how this works? Pile on the money, but never ask us to be held accountable and be measured. Oh; and when we ask for more money, be sure to give it to us.

Still another wrote:

what is sad, is that the voters from the east side think this is all "genius stuff" that the CMSD is coming out with, the "transformation plan" and all the "programs" yada yada yada -- stuff that no one has ever thought of before!! "How To Be Parents" -- give me a break. 
If you don't know how to be a parent, don't know you need to spend time with your children, not only at age 8 but at age 15 as well! teach them to study, stay out of trouble, learn to succeed then WHY are they parents? Don't answer that question! I already know. Welfare income

And again:

CMSD doesnt want you to know what Citizens spends per student because it makes them look all that much worse. My question is this: When four more years of academic failure and mismanagement are done, will Cleveland voters have the courage to vote down the renewal of the levy they were just duped into supporting?

And finally:

Parental involvement? Next you're going to aggrandize intact families. 
Come on, everybody knows only passing a school levy and the teachers' unions create better students. 
Actually the more a teacher's paid, the better their child does in school. 
Just as the Ohio Teachers Association. They'll set you straight.

___________________________________________

Now, there were some positive comments left but there were also more sarcastic in tone, demeaning in nature, and defeatist in attitude, comments left too. 

I was blown away by the people who, even if having different viewpoints, were just so...NEGATIVE.  And just reading their comments started to effect me and my behavior.  I got upset at these people, but then I noticed that I was also reacting to the negative things around me rather then paying attention to all the positive, wonderful things in my life, both at home and school, that I have been blessed with.

Why do I share this?

Because negativity is a life force that will bring you to your knees if you let it; it will cripple you and keep you from doing all the wonderful, unique things that you are totally capable of accomplishing with the right mindset. 

As a teacher, I can't afford to be dragged into negative talk or situations because ultimately that effects my relationship with students and that is something that should be treated with the utmost respect.

That is not to say that I am always positive, and there are days when I am probably the cause of some negativity (You will see the reoccurring theme in this blog of me NOT being perfect).  But one thing I have been working on in my own life to to STOP the negativity as soon as I am aware that I am part of it.  Then I need to SHIFT away from the things that are causing me to be negative.  If I follow that up with trying to SUSTAIN the effort of being positive, then I am on my way!

How do you create and sustain that positive mindset?  Well, there are tons of self help books that I could quote from but what I have found helpful is to:

1. Suround yourself with good people:

I know sometimes you don't get a say in this, but you can decide who you will spend your time with, who you will choose to interact with, whose advice you will seek, and who you will vent to when you need to.  I have had some wonderful people at school who, with a quick positive comment, have energized me or have taken more time to pick me up when I was at my lowest, and I try to do the same for them.

2. Take some time for yourself:

Sometimes throughout the school day things get stressful and situations arise that might cause you to become negative in your thoughts, feelings, and even actions.  To prevent this from taking over your day, it is essential to carve out a few minutes to do something you enjoy.  This year I decided to eat my lunch quickly in my room and then I shut the door and take the last fifteen minutes of lunch to play my guitar. I am not super good, but I enjoy it and find that the step away from the school day that I take helps my energy level for the rest of the day.  So take fifteen minutes to read a book for pleasure, check your fantasy team, or look up some recipes you hope to make. It is not a waste of time if it makes you a better person for your students to be around.


Ralph Waldo Emmerson said, "Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm."

I would love to hear the little things people do during a day to keep their enthusiasm and positive energy up, or things they do to lift up others so that great things can be achieved.

Of course if you want a self help book type book to read, I would highly recommend The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Anchor.